Rinoa Meets Ybba Uy
by Gravie
Summary: Not my best, but the basics are here: Rinoa is evil, and all your Zelphie fans might like this, too.


~**~A|N: Rinoa lovers: go away. Rinoa haters: read on. Now this story is totally weird.. and dun worry if you liked the first better, I just felt like being silly right now hehheh.. Read on oh curious one... oh and I've decided  
to keep up with the We-Hate-Rinoa stories!YAY! Oh and you may notice that the word "reluctantly" is used quite a bit.. well bah if you dun like it.. i cant help it if i like that word hehheh..~**~  
  
The sun was slow to set that evening.. Seeming to want to grasp every precious moment overlooking the picturesque Garden. For tomorrow, it would not be a peaceful, and ocupied residence. Tomorrow was the day that  
the SeeD members would head off for a quest.. to the circus. The Pioneer Circus would be nearby, and Pirate Cid decided that eveyone needed a break. He gave specific orders that all SeeD members, faculty, and others  
are to attend for a relaxing, and entertaining day at the circus..  
  
Morning brought hectic persons running about the Garden frantically looking for this and that.. well, almost everybody. Squall sat on his meager bed in the dorm, staring blankly into space. He was suddenly brought back from  
his trance the moment he heard a knock on the solid mahognany door. "C'm in." Who should walk through the door but perky, energetic Selphie. If at all possible, she seemed even more enthused today than usual; dressed up in   
her blue mini skirt and white blouse [she didn't feel the need to bring a jacket, as she would just cuddle up to Zell], and carrying a small triangular flag labeled "Go Circus!".   
  
Selphie's pencil thin lips beared a grin as wide as ever as her gleaming eyes set on Squall. "Come on Squallie! We're gunna be late! And who the heck could ever be late for the CIRCUS!! C'mon! Zell's meeting me downstairs in like,  
three minutes, so let's GO!"  
  
"........."  
  
"Aren'tcha comin? Oh wait, you hafta come.. Captain Cid gave specific orders that we're all like.. well.. we all gotta go. C'mon!" Enthusiastic Selphie grabbed his leather jacket sleeve and pulled him up from the bed. Squall reluctantly  
did so. He fixed his hair and headed out with Selphie, oddly enough, actually talking to her. "So Selph, you seen Quistis t'day? I erm, would like to ask her ou- er.. some questions about those darned Grats outside....?"   
  
"No. Oh wait, yah.. Last I saw she was chatting with Zell. Apparently he needs to "calm down", whatever that means," replied the high voiced Selphie.  
  
Everyone was anxiously lining up by the bus, being marked off as they entered. Squall, Selphie, & Zell one of the last people in line. About four people ahead was Rinoa, waving hysterically at Squall, and calling his name as loudly, yet as affectionately,  
as she could. "Squall! C'mere!" Squall reluctantly walked over to her.. keeping an eye out for Quistis. While doing so, Rinoa gently wrapped her arms around his. "I saved you a spot.. uh.. Kinda." insert cheesy Rinoa smile here "So, how've you been?   
I take it you do want to sit next to me.. Y'know Squall.. I think you intend to ask me to all these events, but you forget.. what with all those headaches and all.. Are you okay?" Her wicked black eyes penetrated through his own as her pencil thin lips  
traced into what was actually a smile.   
  
They'd moved up now, and were loading the bus. "Arr, wot be yer name, lassie," inquired the hoarse voice of Cid, who had his checklist of SeeD members in hand. "Rinoa. Rinoa Heartlilly," replied the icy voice of Rinoa. As she was stepping onto the   
bus, Cid held back a hand. "Sorry lassie, but yeh ain't a coming. Yew, my raven haired, clam faced, pointed nosed friend, are t' stay here and mow the lawn. I have special instructions from others [hehheh.. "others"] that yew are t' trim the lawn   
with these scissors, each individual blade by each individual blade. Please stand back a moment and I'll explain it in a moment." He then asked for the names of others, and they were permitted. All the while Rinoa had a sour, bitter face on,  
with her skinny, pasty arms crossed over her chest.  
  
Cid made sure everyone was in, then got a bullhorn to make some announcements:  
"Arr mateys, e'erone is in tight now, and all must mind their manners, arr. Now, as fer Rinoa mai sneering lil lassie, yew are to stay here and trim the Garden's lawn with these here scissors," he handed her a pair of kindergarden scissors.. the kind  
that seldom fuction, "and yew are to cut each and every individual blade of grass here. Now, this may sound easy matess, that's why you must make sure that the blades are level, and all that goodness, arr harr. The circus is only a good five  
miles away, and if yeh hurry yew can run and catchup afore we're done, lassie. Arr.. Haf fun Rinoa!"  
  
Cid put the horn away, and they all drove off: leaving Rinoa to the tedious task of "mowing" the lawn. After a good ten minutes [about four blades] and a fair amount of swearing/mumbling, she stood up, brushed herself off, and threw the scissors  
into the Driew Forest in a raging temper tantrum. **THUNK** She turned on her heel and was ready to follow the road to the bus when she heard an unusual sound: Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... Zzzzzzzzzz... Bzzzzip.. zzzzzzzzz.... Slowly turning, to her horror, Rinoa  
found a swarm of fifteen grats with the most savage look on their faces.. The "leader" grat, flew so close, she almost touched Rinoa's crow shaped nose,"Zzzzyew,, zzzzzz, are tzoo die a orrible zand painful zdeath.. Zyew will naow feel zeh raf of Ybba Uy. ZZtt!  
Attack!" They savagely attacked her, biting, stinging, thwacking, gouging, poking, and mutilating her until three-quarters of the way through, they stopped, and retreated.  
  
While Rinoa was being brutally thwarted by grats, the rest of the SeeD members were having a blast: eating cotton candy, watching the elephants, horses, tigers, lions, bears, "OH MY," exclaimed Selphie. All the goodies of the circus was slowly diminishing  
the stress levels on them all.. except Squall.  
  
Squall was too busy running through the crowds, or into them, too bother about Selphie's uncontrolable flirting with Zell. At last: those mahogany eyes found the petite form of Quistis.. pristine Quistis. Squall pushed and shoved harder than ever to reach her,   
"almost there," he thought. Not more than fifty yards from Quistis, who should run into him but matted, torn, battered, and dirty Rinoa, gasping for air. "Oh, *insert deep breaths here* Sq-- quall. I *inhale.........exhale* finally found you! *breath breath breath* I   
ran into a million gnats an--," "gRats..," corrected Squall, paying no attention to the gouged Rinoa, but eyeing Quistis. "Squ--quall, I'm totall-- totally out -- of br---- breath.. Here. Give me mouth to mouth before I suffocate!" She lounged at him, but Squall and his   
catlike reflexes pulled out his gunblade, and pointed it at Rinoa's throat.  
  
"Squ---Squall, what, what're you doing?!"  
  
The only response for quite sometime that Rinoa got was a simple, "...................."  
  
He pointed it at her, and walked towards her, forcing the clam~faced Rinoa to back into the vicious lion cage. "Rinoa, shuttup. Now, you can either hop right on into that lion cage right now, or I will personally maul you. Your choice, you giant prat. Five seconds."  
  
Hastily, Rinoa mindlessly opened the lion cage and got in. Still gasping for breath, she huddled in the far corner. Moments later, she was screaming and yelling in agonizing pain as the lion gouged her with his teeth.. "Pah, I won't waste my newly manecured claws on this   
piece of trash," the lion articulated. And with that he threw the half~alive Rinoa to the shark [& barracuda] filled pool.. It is there that Rinoa faced a wretched fate of a [poorly tasting] appetizer.  
  
Laughing wickedly and putting his gunblade away, he walked towards Quistis and smiled. She was [as usual] talking to Pirate Cid, before she saw Squall. "Excuse me, Headmaster, but might we continue our discussion some other time?" "Aye, lassie. 'T be nary a problim fer me."  
With that, Cid hobbled off on his peg leg to see the giraffes.  
  
"Yes, Squall?"  
  
"Um, Quistis, would you like to sit by me for the next show?" Squall smiled, slightly, awaiting Quistis's reply.. She smiled. "I'd love to, Squall. Let's go get seats now, shall we?" Grabbing his hand, Quistis and Squall walked off to get seats for the next show.   
  
Fortunate them [Squall & Quistie] got seats right next to Selphie & Zell. While Zell was trying to act all punk again, looking tough as, while the hoola-dancing bears pranced by, Selphie tried to cuddle next to him, flirting uncontrollably. He finally just gave in and smooched her big.  
The chimpanzees were obviously watching, because as Zell did this, they started whooping and jumping up and down.. Hmm.. Squall and Quistis, by the way, ended their trip with holding hands and a small smoochie. :P  
  
~**~A|N.. Kinda interesting story huh? If you like the first better, I dun blame yeh.. I'm just having a lil fun here to kill some time. Please review your thoughts on what you thought of Rinoa's tortures. If you'd like to see more grusome tortures, please review w/your ideas! Thankies! ~**~  



End file.
